Ten Rules For Living Harmoniously With Julie and Caleb

Ten Rules For Living Harmoniously With Julie and Caleb

10: If you have made it INSIDE the house, congratulations, we like you! Stay as long as you like, but at 10 pm, we are going to bed. Lock the door behind you on the way out. Or, dust the dog hair of the couch and find yourself a blanket. Whatever. We are going to bed.

9: We are picky, picky eaters. Caleb never read the book on corgis and does not know he is supposed to eat everything that has the potential to be edible, and I am fairly certain I was born with my strange aversions to normal foods permanently hardwired in my brain. Keep us away from cheap dog kibble and lettuce, and we will be fine.

8: We are not quiet, we are plotting. Keep that in mind.

7: We take sleeping very seriously (See rule #10). Please, no touching. Sleeping is very. serious. work. Plus, we startle easily. We cannot be held responsible for the growling and flailing that will occur should one insist on such interactions. On such occasions when you simply must wrest us from our slumber, warn us. From across the room.

6: Very few things in life cannot be fixed with a tablespoon or two of peanut butter. Enough said.

5: We know when something is out of place. It irritates us. I can find a sock mostly hidden under the couch from across the room and see dust no other human can. Caleb can pick out the one branch / for sale sign / random bit of trash on the grass that was not there the previous day. The biggest difference between us here is how we manage said out of place object. I put it where it belongs, Caleb prefers to pee on it.

4: We are creatures of habit, but we hate mindless repetition. Keep things interesting, do not upend our universe. See rule number five for an idea of how we will tackle upended universes.

3: We are perfectly content to keep ourselves entertained. Until we are not anymore. Have no fear, you will know when we require your attention. We are not subtle.

2: Sighing and stomping is usually a good indication you may have missed one of our less than subtle clues. Please remedy the situation immediately. See rule number six for ideas.

1: We are fiercely loyal, and will do just about anything for one of our pack. Unless cold water is involved. Then, you are on your own.